I really enjoyed these links

I saw this today and really enjoyed it... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egpJWYy_YuM http://www.sacredtouchformen.com/erotic-massage/

Mr. Walmart and Mr. Target

To whom it may concern: why in the hell are the condoms so fucking randomly ass placed or not at all? I like to suck deek and the only deek sucking condoms I like are DUREX flavored (that green apple) hits the spot. The people that work for you are lazy as hell if they can't keep up with condom supply and placement. People Fuuuuuuuck you know and like to be safe about it. I can't count the time I've looked for my brand and can't find what I need. Stop playing around and order that shit now.

Off the Grid and Square Dancing (if your feelings get hurt don't read this)

Friday HIGH not the John Denver high. I was given a brownie for my BDay and that lasted me for day until Friday. I'm a nice person I love to share, so I shared it with my girl. A few beers and a brownie later we hit the street to walk to off the grid. That was the longest fucking walk, good lawd high and drunk you should never drive never, and fuck walking pavement moves to much. Thank GOD I was in flats or I never would have made it to the trucks. I was doing that two forward and one back step. You know when you're drunk everything is funny, but when you are high it 20 times funnier like the word balls. Anything about balls on balls chees on balls big balls , hard creamy balls. That shit makes you laugh like the first time your heard a dirty ass joke. balls dipped in cheese balls with truffle sauce what the fuck? My eyes hurt reading and laughing (and later in the night my head). I finally picked a truck RIB eye with cheese and BBQ. We have been lucky enough to be at OTG on salsa night, but this night square dancing. I felt like I was back in elementary school or a big as special ed class for adults. When I was in school we thought of it as a fucking punishment to have to dance. At one time I was like when I turn 80 I'll put on a puffy square dancing dress and dance the square till I die, but last night made me say wait till I turn 90. Sitting around watching people square dance made me think fuck I am way too fucking cool to sit here and watch these people and then there was that Little tiny tiny tiny not evil said that really wanted to dance. What jacked was all the guys were dorks. A few handsome guys and I would have been down.

Kicking a bitch in the throat

What makes a person so pissed they want to kick someone in the throat. Not a hand , or elbow , but a foot to the neck right in that spot to cut off the wind and shut them up. Yes I was feeling that way a few days ago we all know meditation will keep you from kicking someone's ass. I have not kicked ass since jr high. I really wanted too on Tuesday, I wanted to left up my foot and kick out shut it up bitch stop talking fuck. You know it takes a lot to make me lose it. A lot, A lot because I laugh at everything, and I even laughed when I broke my leg ok up to a point. When an adult makes you want to take a measure like that its best to keep them out of your world. I can't stand foolishness and Bullshit.

Common Courtesy

People really! How the hell do you forget to act in public? Some people are way beyond the born in a barn its like were you mama and daddy monkeys. Oh shit I'm not going to shame monkeys like that some people just don't have manners. This morning I go to Safeway for breakfast food and milk for my coffee. I park my car get to the only door they have open hell only one door it's 6am (so people don't rob they ass). As I'm walking up to the door one of Safeway employees is walking up to the door also. I'm thinking he will stand a side and let me go in before he goes out the door. Wait for it, wait for it! He walks right out, and I had to back out of his way. What really pisses me off is that he was a fuckers lacking manners and he looked me in the eye like fuck you I don't have to move for you. I'm a woman men open doors for me , let me walk in to rooms before they do and when we walk down a street I walk on the inside where its safe. That's the sign of a true gentleman. I was brought up by my Southern grandparents, so I have old day/way manners (my Grandmothers 100). Now to the Bathroom at Khols BITCH how you gonna piss on the floor and leave it for the next bitch? people make me sick. I cover my seat and guess what's sitting next to me? that's right a shitter! This chick is just pushing it out like she in her bathroom at home. I was pissing and whispering courtesy flush , courtesy flush, courtesy flush. Finally she got the hint and drowned them stinky babies. If you can't hold it and have to shit in public be nice to other people.

The Caves of CA

I can't tell you where it is or I will get my butt kicked hard. Its 3hrs out of the bay and a 4 mile hike. Yes hike with wild animals and bugs in your face. Oh and I saw some fish yes the place has fish along with the cave and river that runs through it. Enjoy the photos.

Stop playing games

I’m not 18 and no I‘m not street smart, but I am an adult who is running a business. When calling me for an appointment please have a time in mind. Please stop asking for the last appointment or an appointment I only set for my regular clients. When you keep asking for things I don’t offer or times that you know you wont get(it makes you sound stupid and it really annoys the fuck out of me). I will not let a strange person be it man or woman see me after 7pm. When I offer you times and you want something beyoned that I know your full of Bullshit. Have you seen CSI? This rant is brought to you by someone trying to F@#$k with my time. If you get off work in Walnut Creek at 5:30pm and can’t make it to my place by 6:30pm or 7pm you need to ask Dr. Brown to fix that time machine bro. Oh and to D your numbers are in my phone and you really need to stop calling its been 2yrs. 10am does not mean you call me at 10 to tell me your leaving your place. If you are not at the door at the set appointment time fine yourself a new massage girl.　 Are you saying there’s a party in your pants and I’m invited?

Cesar Monday night

Went to Cesar in Oakland the other night WHY? That place has changed and not for the good. I miss the Old Cesar’s the food was better the drinks much better. I knew the place was going down hill when the Papatas bravas sauce was diminished from a heap to a dollop. The oysters ok the drink way over the top Vodka would have helped not gin (Green Gimlet) never again. The prices are way to high for the food.
　
　
　
Barlata will be my new place.

Made a few changes to my space....

Whole Body Bliss

My massage is the ultimate relaxation therapy, as it will help you completely detach yourself from your daily worries and forget all your concerns. The soothing music, the warm room, and the soft touch of my hands will let you reach a state, of harmony and balance. I am certified in massage I have therapeutic training.
I have created a place for you to escape, rejuvenate and de-stress. Located in a cozy private studio next to Lake Merritt 5min from Jack London.


My hours :Mon - Sat 9am till 8pm ~ -Sun appointments must be made 24hr in advance.
My goal is to help you escape the rigors of everyday life and to experience extraordinary body care.
Lynne Bodyworker 510 992-3083 (unblock when calling and text messages are deleted)


Bliss sessions: 60min $180 ~ 90min $250 ~ 120min $300 (bliss bath $220)

Location: off 580/880 15min from Oakland Airport/ 3 blocks from Lake Merritt BART station

Making an appointment: For best results please book your appointment a day in advance.

Payment: All payments are made in cash and are sat down before the session starts.

Massage school: McKinnon and API

Modalities I’m certified in Swedish, Deep tissue , Soothing Balinese touch, Thai , Shiatsu , Zen Shiatsu , Hot stones

Are you in school now: Yes
How long have you been offering massage: 10yrs
Why did you go to massage school: Because I love touch LOL.